This means maybe putting away the cell phone if you are with someone making amends, or turning down background noise if you are making a call to make amends. Do whatever possible to show respect for the situation and the person to whom you are making amends is the order of the day. In the Big Book of AA, on pages 83 and 84 to be exact, there is a text on the expected results of working step 9 fully and completely. It shows the way in a very real sense, this step is one of the most important ones. To the best of my abilities, I have calculated the total amount of money that I stole from you so that I can pay you back. Here is $200, and if I’m incorrect and owe you more, I will repay the remainder.

The Ninth Step Worksheet

The spiritual purpose of making amends is to find inner peace, freedom, release, and rebirth. While this step involves a direct exchange with another person, its goal has everything to do with healing and addiction recovery on the part of the person making the amends. Step Nine can leave you emotionally exhausted; it’s a difficult step to navigate. But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive. Making amends is a pivotal part of the AA 12-step recovery process. It requires acknowledging past mistakes, expressing genuine regret, and committing to change.

Family and Children’s Programs

If truthful answers to these questions reveal that you’re not ready to move on, or that you may even need to go back to earlier steps, set the list aside for later. Next time, you’ll be in a better position to accept your shortcomings and align with the path to fix them. The 8th Step leads you to the knowledge that there are things you can and can’t change by identifying who you’ve harmed and how you’ve harmed them and then making a list. Think about any instances of selfishness, greed, dishonesty, negligence and so on, regardless of whether or not you intended to cause harm at the time. Step 8 of AA is primarily about forgiveness — making peace with others and yourself. Stepping back from a life of alcoholism and seeing all the damage you caused can be devastating.

• By proactively correcting previous mistakes, those in recovery may be able to prevent future conflicts that could trigger a relapse.
• Working the steps has likely made you a less selfish and self-centered individual.
• If I would have followed the temptation to make an amends list out of order, it would not have been nearly as effective.
• Our vast collection of articles and resources is written to inspire and guide individuals, their family members, and loved ones to learn about different addictions to live a fulfilling life in sobriety.
• Catching this particular error is a crucial possibility that the comments column can be used for.

Your Future Starts at Silvermist

• The willingness to make amends lays the groundwork for genuine attempts at reconciliation and restitution, and improved relationships with others and ourselves.
• One very effective way to make amends is to go to treatment.

Direct amends are not always possible or practical, but that doesn’t mean the individual is unable to demonstrate changed behavior. Volunteering for a worthwhile cause or supporting a charity can be a valuable way to make amends. This reminds you that the spirit of the eighth Step goes beyond forgiveness and includes compassion, honesty, humility and other qualities built up in previous steps. Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at the same place in healing as we are. We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends.

The 12 Steps For Each Major 12 Step Program

It’s also important to have a plan and be prepared for different possible reactions, with guidance from a sponsor and support group of some kind. We must refrain from deflecting responsibility onto others or justifying one’s harmful actions living amends while expressing remorse, or it discounts the whole activity. Often, in our experience, when you get stuck in the amends process, it is due to getting inside your head, and imagining outcomes or otherwise succumbing to doubt.

Once the worksheet has been completed, it can now be used for the purpose it was designed for. That purpose is to help make amends for past wrongs more complete, if not easier. It may become easier because the worksheet is a planning tool as well. It also allows the feelings of the other person to be noted. Perhaps the opinion is wrong, but it is an exercise in the awareness of other people and is probably right. Nonetheless, considering this will provide some sort of idea of what might be in store when dealing with this person.

What Is Step 8 of AA?